All of these ideas are fantastic, and Tara Cannery Durphy sounds like a total babe.
Also, the image of you nervously peering through your sentences at the reader to guage their reaction has the same energy as when I watch a movie I love with someone, and then spend the entire thing stressed beyond belief that they aren't laughing/crying/otherwise emoting the way I thought they would, becoming increasingly mortified, and eventually wishing I could simply dissolve into the couch cushions. This is why I don't watch my beloved movies with anyone new anymore. Go watch it on your own and report back.
As for other ideas about how you could trick yourself into writing just for yourself, I think a good one would be to write from the meanest part of you. That bitter voice that sneaks into your mind sideways and says horrific things you'd never even dream of saying out loud. All your jealousies and petty thoughts.
(But, oh God, I'm not built for this bc even as I typed that out, I was like, this is the plot of everything from Harriet the Spy to Mean Girls...what if someone reads your terrible burn book writing?!)
Ohhh I do the same thing with movies I like! For ages I tried to get Ryan to like I Think You Should Leave and he would just stare blankly, and I was questioning everything. He came around eventually. But yeah, a very risky thing to have to accept that other people have different tastes and that the art that defines your very soul is just a dumb sketch to them. (Like, ITYSL doesn't define me, necessarily, but you know what I mean.)
Mean voice is very compelling but I also see how easily it could go wrong and I'm a little terrified of that. I grew up Catholic believing my guardian angel was watching everything I do and it made me a little too paranoid I think.
All of these ideas are fantastic, and Tara Cannery Durphy sounds like a total babe.
Also, the image of you nervously peering through your sentences at the reader to guage their reaction has the same energy as when I watch a movie I love with someone, and then spend the entire thing stressed beyond belief that they aren't laughing/crying/otherwise emoting the way I thought they would, becoming increasingly mortified, and eventually wishing I could simply dissolve into the couch cushions. This is why I don't watch my beloved movies with anyone new anymore. Go watch it on your own and report back.
As for other ideas about how you could trick yourself into writing just for yourself, I think a good one would be to write from the meanest part of you. That bitter voice that sneaks into your mind sideways and says horrific things you'd never even dream of saying out loud. All your jealousies and petty thoughts.
(But, oh God, I'm not built for this bc even as I typed that out, I was like, this is the plot of everything from Harriet the Spy to Mean Girls...what if someone reads your terrible burn book writing?!)
So, anyway. Good luck?
Ohhh I do the same thing with movies I like! For ages I tried to get Ryan to like I Think You Should Leave and he would just stare blankly, and I was questioning everything. He came around eventually. But yeah, a very risky thing to have to accept that other people have different tastes and that the art that defines your very soul is just a dumb sketch to them. (Like, ITYSL doesn't define me, necessarily, but you know what I mean.)
Mean voice is very compelling but I also see how easily it could go wrong and I'm a little terrified of that. I grew up Catholic believing my guardian angel was watching everything I do and it made me a little too paranoid I think.